As I step into the next decade of my life. Do I feel any different? No. But do my bones crack louder? Hell Yah!

Looking back at the person who stepped into his 30s, around 10 years ago, do I feel like the same person? Not really, I think, there have been a lot of things that have changed so going back in time, this is what I learned:

When to give up: This has always been a tough one for me but it was one that was needed to be done. Not just for myself but also for the people around me. I needed to learn where I am needed and where I am not. Instead of my default, “yes i know it’s your issue, but I can help” routine.

Protect one’s energy: Another critical one was knowing where my energy is needed and where it is going to be wasted. This did include some hard lessons like knowing who your friends are, knowing who appreciates you and who are just using you for entrainment.

Taking care of the people: As no surprise for some people, I protect Elma like a mamma bear and she does the same for me. But this extended to more than just the two of us. We have others that are closer than family that needed this as well. As Mom always says: “People need and help people”. I have seen this principal from both sides of the coin. Where, when I needed help, my people were there and also when one of them asked we were there for them.

Savor the time: This one came as a shock as the last 10 years, patient zero also known as Elma went through some hard times in the hospitals. With the loss of the two children and almost losing her three times to various bleeding / sepsis / surgical complications. It was time to stop spending time outwards but also inwards, towards what and who really mattered, as I learned closer to the end of this dirty 30s that people can just slip away into the ether very easily and quickly.

Lastly the imposter is strong: As overbearing and confident as I tend to portray myself, the question of “am I good enough” is always there. Over the last decade the things that I have learned is to have faith in oneself and know what skills you have and what you don’t. Play to your strengths and improve your weakness, and its never and I say never to late to ask for help or say “hey can you explain this to me”. Being the smartest person in the room is never the goal anymore, it is now to be the dumbest person around.

A tribute to few of the folks that we have lost along the way:

Let’s see what the next decade brings forward. Like someone much smarter than me said once: “All I know is that I know nothing”